Thanksgiving

Ah, Thanksgiving, a  lovely American tradition inspiring families to come together to celebrate love and good food.  It sounds great, but, sadly, not everyone has a family they love spending time with, so this holiday can be a major downer.

My ex, Mike, and I have always tried to put down our weapons and act like a functional family for the holidays.  Our kids, who are ages 19 and 20 now, appreciate not having to choose between Mom or Dad’s house, and somehow, we always seem to make it work.

This year I offered to make the Thanksgiving dinner, and picked up my “free” turkey from my favorite grocery store, Major Market.  It’s free because when you spend a certain dollar amount during a specified time period, you get a certificate for a turkey.  I grabbed the first one I saw, vaguely aware that it seemed a tad larger than I was used to.  When I got home, I discovered it was ginormous, weighing in at 26.7 pounds!  I congratulated myself on getting the most for my money.

I picked it up a week ahead of the big day and left it thawing in my fridge while my son and I made our traditional week-before-Thanksgiving trip to Big Bear. 

I heart Big Bear

 I bought all the ingredients we would need for a gourmet T-Day dinner before our trip so I wouldn’t have to battle hordes of frantic people shopping at the last minute, and congratulated myself on being so well prepared.  However, on Wednesday evening, I suddenly realized I didn’t have anything to cook the turkey in.  My roasting pan was pathetically inadequate for my giant bird and I raced to the store to buy disposable aluminum pans.  I drove in a panic, thinking they may have sold out since Thanksgiving was just a few hours away.  Luckily, they still had plenty and I calmed down. 

Anyone who has ever seen the movie Christmas Vacation knows the scene where Chevy Chase carves into the golden brown turkey and it disintegrates in a puff of smoke, while his wife’s cousin sobs, “I knew we put it in too early!”   

There's the heart!

This is every cook’s nightmare – a dry, inedible turkey, and this scene replays in my mind every year.  

"It's just a little dry..."

My turkey has always turned out just fine, but there always seems to be a moment of panic when I crank up the heat during the last hour or two because the thermometer is telling me, “NO WAY!  THIS TURKEY IS NOWHERE NEAR BEING DONE!  DINNER WON’T BE READY UNTIL MIDNIGHT, YOU IDIOT!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

So, because this turkey was in the extra large category and because I always stuff mine, I made sure it was in the oven early enough to allow for 8 hours cooking time.  I got up early, prepped the turkey , made the stuffing, and shoved Big Bird into the extra large aluminum pan.  It barely fit. 

My daughter had offered to come over and help, which was nice, and I stood in the kitchen most of the day preparing side dishes while she texted people on her cell phone.  While I was extremely grateful for her company, it was really up to me to put this whole shebang together.  To be fair, she did peel the potatoes for me and put napkins on the table.  In between food preparation, we played with our dogs, watched an SNL marathon and laughed a lot together.

Chester, Pepper, Chelsea waiting for crumbs

I put on the Thanksgiving episode of the Pioneer Woman’s cooking show because I LOVE her and thought it would be a good bonding opportunity for Krista and me.  

The Pioneer Woman

 The Pioneer Woman (Rhee Drumond) is this amazingly cheerful person who home schools her  4 perfect  children on their abundant Oklahoma ranch.  Their life seems ideal.  All the kids pitch in and help with cattle ranching and household chores with nary a complaint.  They all look lovingly and adoringly at their mom and dad, spend lots of time playing (and getting along with each other) in the yard, while Rhee is cooking scrumptious meals in her beautiful, spacious kitchen, with complete ease.  I want to be her.  I want my family to be like hers.  As I watched her prepare her turkey, I thought, uhoh, I didn’t do that, and dang!  Why didn’t I watch this show before Thanksgiving??  She had some great tips I’d never heard of. 

I love cooking too, but my mind is a chaotic, frantic mess, worrying about things turning out right and on time.  I blame Mom.  Whenever we had company for dinner, she was always in a frenzy, scowling, barking orders, swearing to herself, until the moment the doorbell rang.  Then she amazingly transformed herself into a calm, smiling, sane person who had seemingly put this feast together effortlessly.  While I strive to be more like Superwoman Rhee, it seems I’m doomed to turning into Mom, especially during the last few crucial minutes. 

It’s always been our tradition to make a Thanksgiving Gratitude Wreath every year to display on the table.  Each person has to write at least 5 things they are grateful for on strips of colored construction paper, then the kids weave them together in a wreath.  I love this tradition and the kids always seemed to view it as a fun craft project, especially when their cousins were with us.  This year it was just our little dysfunctional family and I was having a hard time getting them interested.  I got out pens, paper, scotch tape and scissors with an air of excitement, and made my part of the wreath.  I kept glancing over from the kitchen, noting that nothing was happening craft project-wise.  I changed strategies from happy lets-make-a-craft mode to gentle nagging mode.  After all, they are young adults now, and won’t respond any more to threats.  I tried not to think how this would never happen to Rhee.

OK! Not really my table! Or house! Sure is pretty, though, right?

Dinner was supposed to be at 6 and to my dismay, when I opened the oven door at 4 to check on the turkey, the thermometer was in the Nowhere Near, Are You Crazy? zone.  Now I was panicking.  I started cranking up the heat, first to 400, then to 450.  The oven started making weird noises and smoke was coming out the top of the door and filling the house with a lovely haze.  OK, now I was terrified.  Was it going to blow up?  The sane part of my brain was noting with amusement how my hands were shaking as I attempted to remove some of the juices from the overcrowded pan that were spilling onto the bottom of the oven.  Yup, I was definitely sceeaaared.  The thermometer still had not budged and that’s when I decided it was no longer working.  So I pulled Megabird out of the oven with trembling hands and prayed that it was done.  It was.  In fact, it was a tad overdone.  Not the Christmas Vacation version, but if I’d left it in any longer, I’m sure that’s what it would have looked like.  Yes, my laser sharp instinct had saved the day.  We opened all the doors to air out the house, I poured myself a giant glass of champagne and tried to look nonchalant. 

Our Gratitude Wreath was finally completed and displayed on the table shortly before our guests (my ex and his brother) arrived.   

Krista lit the candles on the table, and with a smile on my face and appearing ever so cool and calm, I served our dinner which everyone seemed to enjoy.  

OK, not really my turkey. Mine was much larger! (Internet photo)

 I started to relax a little.  During dessert, I suggested now would be a good time for everyone to read the Gratitude Wreath.  The kids said, Noooooo, so Mike picked it up, put on his reading glasses, leaned forward, and started to read, “I am thankful for...”

Suddenly, Krista yelled, “DAD!” and I watched in horror as flames shot up from the wreath which had been held too close to the candle flames.  I covered my eyes as Kyle blew out the flames.  For some reason, this incident caused me to break into hysterical laughter.  I laughed so hard I had to run from the table into the bathroom, where I continued to laugh until tears were pouring down my face, and I was still laughing when I returned to the dining room, trying in vain to compose myself. 

What is it about my family and fire?  What does this all mean?

Maybe it just means that Mike leaned too close to the candle on the table, that I almost blew up the turkey and have a dysfunctional family because I’m not Rhee Drummond and never will be.

But that’s OK.  We made the best out of our holiday in spite of the circumstances.  Our Gratitude Wreath was completed.  It now has a missing link, but is otherwise intact. 

The Missing Link

 I got to spend time with my son and daughter and put a nice dinner on the table in spite of the close call.

And my house didn’t burn down.  

Spooky

Forgetfulness is FRIGHTFUL!

So.....everybody has little memory lapses now and then, right?  Right? 

I love this time of year.  Love, love, love the feel of Autumn in the air.  Even if it is 90 degrees.  There’s still an air of Fall in the air, dammit!!

This guy loses his head a lot. No, not from too much hard cider - every time the wind blows, his head falls off. Poor fellow.  

So I dragged all my cutesy little Halloween decorations out to decorate my house.  I noticed that some items weren’t lighting up any more like they’re supposed to, so I dismantled one or two and discovered they each need 3 teeny tiny little batteries.  I cleverly stashed them in a sandwich baggy to take with me to the store so I would remember to buy them.

A day or two went by, and I couldn't find the baggy, but I just scratched it off as a moment of forgetfulness.  It was probably accidentally tossed out when I was cleaning the kitchen.

You know, I like to think that I’m a good mom, making the house festive and cozy, cooking meals for my son, packing him his lunch every day.  But just when you think you’ve got this mom stuff down, kids always find a way to point out some glaring flaws.

Spooky, hey, hey alright....

I was having a great day, feeling pretty good about myself, when my son texted me this picture.  The text underneath said, “WHY??”

What's wrong with this picture? 
A little battery acid puts hair on your teeth, builds character! 
Oh by the way, this sandwich was made with LOVE
(and batteries)

I really wasn’t trying to poison my son with battery acid.  It’s just one of those things – a senior moment?  Or something.   Everybody does stuff like that.  Right???

Of course you realize, I do these funny little things so I can write about them and you won't be so jealous of me. Is it working?
Please, feel free to share stupid thing you've done lately.  I won't mind!  Really!

INTO THE CLOUD FOREST

The trip to the cloud forest was an adventure in itself!

These Swiss girls know how to travel. No dragging suitcases over the rocks for them

First we rode in a van, then a boat, then a bus.

The boat ride was beautiful and serene, and we had some entertaining travelers with us.

Goodbye Arenal Volcano!

Note the mansion on the hill. Belongs to some rich South American dude with his own helicopter

Two handsome young German guys, Junes and Axel, were chatting with some cute girls from Switzerland.  Junes was especially outgoing and told me about his travels, how he never worries where he is going to spend the night, and has even knocked on house doors offering money for an overnight stay. (A little too adventurous for me!!)  He speaks at least 3 languages fluently and is studying international business. 

We went from the lovely boat ride to a bus that wound up the steep, bumpy road to the cloud forest. 

Up above the clouds so high. Like a bus ride in the sky.

 It started to rain, the road was narrow and unpaved, which made for a bit of an intense ride.  Thanks to Junes, though, our minds were kept off the treacherous road.  He showed us a scar from a jelly fish sting he received in South America when he jumped in the ocean "after drinking a little too much one night".  He talked about the Pura Vida expression in Costa Rica which is sort of equivalent to "Que Pasa" in Spanish, or "Whassup!".  He decided to coin his own word and came up with "Hube!" (prounounced hoobay)  , taught it to his friends who work in an auto factory in Bonn and passed it on to the whole plant. 

With great enthusiasm, he had everyone on the bus repeating after him, "Uno, dos, tres, HUBE!!!"  Meanwhile, the bus was careening through the clouds and, on Junes' side, there was a spectacular view of the sunset.  He was leaning out the window, snapping photos, and offering to take photos with everyone's cameras so we could always remember this ride.

It was a gorgeous sunset. Too bad the picture is blurry

We all got off in Monte Verde, and Junes, Axel, and the Swiss girls went in search of a hostel.  It was raining and I hoped they would find a place to spend the night.   

The  Monte Verde Lodge is very nice.  We were greeted with a mango and lime drink.  Our room, 204, had a balcony and a forest view.  We went down to a gourmet dinner in the hotel's lovely restaurant with views into the jungle.  The bar area has a nice fireplace where we hung out afterwards.  We were surprised and happy to see Grand Cayman Couple, who also happened to be staying there.  It was like running into old friends. Pura Vida! 

Early the next morning we headed out to go zip lining.  I had never done this before and, yes, was a tad nervous.  The Selvatura area has everything you could possibly want.

We walked on metal bridges so high above the forest floor, you couldn't see the ground!

 An informative guide took us through the huge, enclosed butterfly garden, describing the different types of gimongous, colorful specimns fluttering around us.

This is the nursery. Butterflies in the making

This is an Owl Butterfly. When it's closed, it looks like a snake to its predators.

When its wings are open, it looks like an owl

The hummingbird garden had several feeders with literally hundreds of brilliantly colored birds flitting around our heads.

We ran into Newlywed New York Couple here and were excited to see each other.  They raved about the zip lining and that's where we headed for next. We harnessed up and climbed some stairs to the first platform.

Don't I look brave? HAHA

 Rapid instructions were given:  "Sit down into your harness, keep your legs up, hold the rope with your left hand, the zip line with your right.  Watch for the hand motions, telling you when to slow down.  OK?  Ready?  Go!"
The last minute, jumbled instructions rattled around my brain, bumping into Panic and Fear.  I gritted my teeth, sat down bravely into my harness, received a shove from the helpful guide, and flew off into the thin mountain air.  I was soaring through the clouds, above the treetops.   The landings were the scariest part.  Pressing on the line didn't really slow you down much, but then a mysterious brake kicked in at the last minute, jolting you to a stop.  Then helpful hands guided you into a standing position.  Some of the lines were short (there were 17 in all).  Others were quite long, which really gave you the sensation of flying.  At one point, it was so cloudy, I couldn't see anything in front of or below me.  I worried about not seeing the hand motions.  My legs hit the tree that time.  It was embarassing.  And it hurt (just a little).

But it was fun!  Who doesn't want to feel like they're flying?  An optional Tarzan Swing was offered for brave souls.  I watched as Kyle climbed the tall platform, was hooked up to a couple bungie cords, then shoved off into oblivion.  When he dropped down, I felt my stomach drop with him.  Then he swung wildly back and forth until the guys on the ground were able to grab his legs and bring him down.  I decided not to do the Tarzan Swing.  I have to draw the line somewhere.

This is Kyle, surviving the Tarzan Swing

That evening we went to Wild Life Refuge for a night tour of the forest, because we hadn't had enough excitement.  Our guide gave us flashlights and we saw strangler trees, walking sticks, cockroaches,

a spider, a baby yellow viper

Look!  It's a baby!

a green viper,

I'm the viper. I vant to vipe your vindows

a millipede, a sloth, an oil bird, which apparently is very rare, a brown jay, glowing fungus, and lots of ants too.  I'm so happy we finally got a night tour.  Even though it drizzled rain the entire time, our guide was so informative and it was an amazing experience.

We celebrated with a fancy dinner back at our hotel.

Wonder who has to clean up the candle wax??

And a drink at the bar

Hube!!!

Next stop:  coffee plantation

VOLCANO!

Our next stop in Costa Rica was Hotel Los Lagos in the Arenal area, close to the volcano.  Had to haggle with Los Lagos for a nice room since they had us assigned to a room right by the parking lot.  I would not have been happy. 

Got room 249 

This was an awesome room with a great view

which was quite a hike to get to, over a hanging bridge and up a steep path.

But it was quiet, away from the crowds, and we were very happy there.  We also got a great workout walking up and down that path!  This is a very large and busy property.  What a difference from Chachagua!  We had a gorgeous  view of the volcano beyond the rolling, grassy lawns and flowers. 

 It was shrouded in fog most of the time, making it all the more mysterious, but when the clouds parted, it was magnificent! 

"Peekaboo!"

 There are replicas of this volcano throughout the property.    

SEE?

Told you!

Yes, there's even a replica in the bar.  What?  You thought I was kidding???

We went down to check out the crocodiles, frogs, butterflies and ant farm that Christian had recommended seeing.  We peered through the wrought iron fence at the crocodiles lazing on their islands 

Come and get me!

and walked into a domed butterfly garden with giant, bright blue Monarchs fluttering around.   

In the Garden of Eden (or is it Inagadaveda???)

The ant farm was especially interesting, with rows and rows of the Leafcutter ants we had seen in the forest marching on branches above our heads, carrying bits of leaves back to their nest.  They are constantly in motion.  

This is quite the ant farm!

The swim up bar quickly became our new home away from home.  We spent every afternoon and evening here.  It was fun, lively, and the warm water from the natural hot springs (you know, there’s this volcano nearby?) was very inviting.

A water slide shoots you into the warm pool if you are so inclined, or you can walk in with dignity and your makeup intact like me.   

Whee! Clearly, Kyle is not worried about his makeup

There is also a larger slide into a cold water pool, which didn’t seem that appealing to me, but all the kids loved it, including Kyle.  It’s long and steep, you zoom through a scary tunnel and plunge into the cold water.  Gasp! To my credit, I tried it.  Once.

Kyle met lots of young people his age here and was trying his best to work through the language barrier with a cutie from France.  I sat on a barstool in the pool, nursing my Margarita and watching all the happy people talking and laughing in the pool.  There’s a little island in the middle where you can climb on if you get tired of the warm water. At night, lights all around the pool area turn different colors.  The bar also has a dry side and this is where we ate dinner every night.   

It was useless to try and resist the Margaritas!

We filled up on nutritious fare like nachos and French fries.  Well, hey, we were on vacation!   

Can you see the horses? They went thataway. The iguana is fake

We were sitting at the bar, when, to my astonishment, a group of horses went galloping up the sidewalk.  I grabbed my new camera, focused and clicked! But I clicked the off button instead of the shutter button. That's why you can't see the horses in the above picture.  Pretty slick, right?  I've always been very coordinated.

Our wonderful room was quite spacious and had a front and back door with porches on both sides.  We had a refrigerator and flat screen TV!  One evening, I went outside to watch the thunder storm.We had just come back from the pool and were feeling lucky that the rain had waited until we were safely indoors.  Yup, everything was going our way.  I settled into one of the comfy chairs on the porch and watched the rain falling softly.  Kyle came out to join me, cleverly closing the  door behind him, and we were locked out of our room. (!!!)  “Gee, Kyle, I sure hope you have a key.” I said.

“What?  No!” 

 It was a long, soggy walk down to the lobby to get new keys.  We walked solemnly, rain soaking through our hoodies,  neither saying a word.

On Day 2 in Los Lagos we went river rafting. We rode with a van full of fellow adventurers and our entertaining guide,  Carlos, stopped along the way for us to try dragon fruit.  It is so strange – a kind of hairy looking red fruit and when you peel it, you find what looks like a clear egg that is edible.  You just have to be careful not to eat the seed hiding inside. 

Weird, right? (internet photo)

Back on the bus, we rode for another 20 minutes while Carlos explained how to paddle, what to do and what not to do.  I started getting a little scared.  What had I gotten us into? What if I couldn't remember the instructions???  When we got there, he led us down a long muddy road, stopping along the way to point out poison ivy and poisonous red frogs with blue legs.  (They aren’t poisonous unless you eat them – Whew!  Good thing we filled up on dragon fruit!!) 

Isn't he cute?  (internet photo)

We got down to the river and the rubber boats and were given life vests, helmets and paddles.  A review and practice session ensued.  You have to sit on the side of the boat with one foot tucked underneath the seat in front of you so you don't fall out and listen closely to your captain's instructions.  We were assigned to a boat with Captain Warner and two other couples - one from the Grand Cayman Islands, and a newlywed couple from New York.  Captain Warner instructed us to hold our paddles together and yell, "Pura Vida!" which is the Costa Rican equivalent of "This is great! We're all gonna die!"

Pura Vida! (internet photo)

Then we were bobbing down the river, following Warner's orders, "Lean in!  Lean out!  Paddle forward!  Paddle backward!"  The scariest  command was, "Get Down!  Get Down!"  which was yelled in an urgent tone that meant to quickly move to the floor of the boat, hold your paddles upright so you don't smack your neighbor in the face, close your eyes and pray.  We were literally paddling for our lives.  

This is what it looked like (internet photo)

We got stuck on a rock at one point and our boat started to flood.  Warner had us lean to the right to empty the boat then yelled urgently, "Back to your positions!" but I couldn’t climb up the steep, slippery sides of the rubber boat.   It was physically impossible.  Kyle was yelling at me, Warner kept shouting, but I couldn't move.  Kyle finally gave me a hard shove and our lives were saved!  Grand Cayman girl almost fell out because she was having trouble too (which means I'm not the only spaz).   

It was  2 ½ hours of pure exhilaration.  There was thunder and lightening in the distance and rain pouring on our heads as we paddled furiously with our metal oars (!!?)  When the river calmed down a little, Kyle looked at me curiously and said, "Uh, Mom, what's wrong with your face? You have black streaks running all over."  The rain combined with the river water splashing into the boat had melted my mascara and it was running in attractive black streams down my face.  Anybody remember Tammy Faye?  Yeah, probably like that only worse.  I wiped at my face in between paddling and asked Kyle if it was better.  He said, oh so very honestly, "Well, at least you don't look horrible any more."  Everyone was laughing and Newlywed New York girl, who happened to be a freelance makeup artist,  said, oh so very diplomatically, "You have the smokey eye look going on!"

Warner did such a great job of barking orders  and making it fun at the same time.  He has been doing this the longest of the other boat captains – 18 years – and his knowledge of the river and equipment made me feel safe even when it was scary.

Yay! We survived the rafting trip!

They prepared fresh fruit for us when it was over

We were given water, beer, towels and a place to change into dry clothes.   

Then they drove us to a nice local restaurant where a delicious lunch was prepard for us – chicken, beef in yummy sauces, homemade tortillas, rice, papaya which was prepared so it resembled squash, a veggie silimar to potato, salad.  Then they did a demonstration  of coffee making – pouring boiling water into a special filter filled with locally grown coffee grounds.

This is how we make coffee in our neighborhood!

But wait, there's more! After coffee, they served us all a slice of sugar cane which we were instructed to bite and suck the juice out of but not eat.  Then they had volunteers put the sugar cane through a press.  Kyle helped along with the New York Newlyweds.  The sugar cane juice was pressed  into a bottle, then they twisted the cane and pressed again.  They doubled the cane and pressed a third time, extracting the rest of the juice.    

They had us all try the sugar juice, then the adults were given the fermented alcohol from the sugar cane – which is basically moonshine, and burned all the way down!    

Cough - now I know why they call it Fire Water!

I highly recommend this company, Wave Expeditions.  Kyle and I both felt this was so worth the money.  We got way more than we expected and it was truly a day to remember and one of the highlights of our trip.

The next morning, I woke at 5:30 – heard something scrabbling outside our door. I crawled on all fours towards the door and saw a shadow moving back and forth.  I flung open the door but nothing was there, so I Went outside and sat on the front porch looking at the fog shrouded landscape and listening to the birds and unusual wild life noises. Monkeys?  Monsters?  When I went back inside, I heard a fluttering noise and thought a bird had flown into our room.  I didn’t see anything though, until I looked at the far wall and saw what I thought might be a bat.  It was actually a huge butterfly and stayed on the wall the entire time we were in the room.   

Just stopped by to say hello (or suck your blood. Your choice.)

Our last activity in Los Lagos was a horseback ride to a waterfall.   This time, the horses were not gaited and looked sad.  I rode Milionario and Kyle rode Snake.  It was about a 45 minute ride, then we left the horses and  hiked down a steep. slippery stone path to the waterfall.  

 There was a steep ravine on our right, nothing to keep us from plummeting to our death if we slipped.  Gasp.  I worried about the little kids with us.  The waterfall was breathtaking and worth the long hike.    After we huffed and puffed our way back up to the horses, we were taken to an idiginous area where native Costa Ricans greeted us with their traditional Kapi Kapi greeting

and gave us a presentation including a drink of sugarcane mixed with a couple other ingredients.  It was sweet, slightly alcoholic.  They described their culture and way of life in their native language while our guide translated.  They had colorful, hand made masks, flasks and jewelry on display and I bought a little canteen sort of thingy which I'm sure will be useful for future horseback rides.

On our last day in Los Lagos,  Kyle showed me a Mirador (lookout point) he had discovered.  We walked past more hot springs which I hadn’t seen before and up a long steep road.  It was foggy, misty, and we couldn’t see the volcano.  At the top of the hill, there was some construction going on

Hey! Why didn't we ride those pretty horses!

 which looked like it might be a future restaurant with a spectacular view.  On the way down, the sun came out a little.  We passed some horseback riders who had ridden to the lake by the volcano.  I was mad at myself that I didn’t know about this possibility.  

 We found more hot springs  

Ran into a photo shy raccoon

Here's some of the horses I tried to take a picture of the first night, and a dog that made friends with Kyle

Even the cows seemed friendly. Sadly, we didn't know how to say Moo in S

panish.

I don't think Kyle wanted to leave this place

Yup, pretty sure he wasn't ready to go

Goodbye Los Lagos.  Sure was fun!

 Next stop - the cloud forest!